3 March 2012 - Battle Ground, WA
-Report by Shane Card-
The USS Brewer was loaded with rugby cargo and set sail north to Washington. The Brewer contingent arrived for the 2012 Olympic swimming trials but were informed that the competition was to be a rugby game, "But we should be using all these nice pools set in this field for swimming. Swimming really fast." The Brewers were discouraged as Yonatan "The Lifeguard" Weiss had even packed his nose plugs and shaved his body oh so smooth (Where's my pen!!?), but the Corvallis crew agreed on the rugby match and were eventually able to come away with a 17-0 rugby victory over the Battle Ground Bulls.
The first half started unusually well for the Brewers as the Corvallis contingent was able to maintain possession and took two penalty kicks, one good, from Jake "Nickname has walked the plank" Jones, Brewers lead 3-0. The Brewers scrum was handling the Bulls and winning possession on both teams throw ins but that domination would not last as the Bulls were able to hold the Brewers scrums steady for the last three quarters of the match. However the Brewers lineout dominated all game as Jamie "Cabin Boy" Anderson not only won the Brewers' lineouts but also the majority of the Bulls'. The Brewers were able to control the game and a try finally came to Adam "The Mermaid" Scouse who was a wrecking ball all match long, the conversion was good and the Brewers took the halftime lead of 10-0. The first half also saw the Brewers squander some try scoring opportunities as players just got pushed into touch, were unable to complete a finishing pass and just missed touching down a kick in goal.
The second half saw the emergence of Battle Ground's aircraft carrier of a second row as he made several runs bouncing Brewers out of his away until enough of the Corvallis players could hang on like barnacles and bring him to the ground. Battle Ground was able to steer their ship close to the tryline a couple of times but were always held up by the Brewers cannonball defense. The Brewers were able to make a few breaks towards scoring in the second half but were largely held at bay by the Bulls defense and handling errors. Near the end of the match the Brewers had a 5 meter lineout which Anderson grabbed and Corvallis attempted to drive towards the tryline but were thwarted until somehow the ball came free to Tim "Landlubber" Linn who happened to be resting in goal and he touched the ball down for the try, Jones converted and the Brewers finished the scoring at 17-0. The match finished off with Battle Ground trying to make passages to the tryline but the Brewers were always able to hold them off and conserve their second shutout in a row.
Brewers 17 (Tries: Adam Scouse, Tim Linn -- Conversions: Jake Jones 2-2 -- Penalty Kicks: Jake Jones 1-2)
Battle Ground 0
1. Jeff "The Human Anchor" Billings
2. James "Blackbeard" Holmes
3. Aaron "Buccaneer" Villaret
4. Jamie "Cabin Boy" Anderson
5. Brandon "Actual Navy Guy" Christensen
6. Chris "Port? Starboard? Dammit, which one means left?" Perkins
7. Jesse "Surfboard" Anderson
8. Steve "The Mermaid" Gilbert
9. Shane "Bilge Rat" Card
10. Joe "Shiver me timbers!" Fradella
11. Adam "The Mermaid" Scouse
12. Marc "Icebreaker" DesJardin
13. Ryan "Dolphin Boy" Hanson
14. Andrew "Jolly Roger" Futerman
15. Jake "Nickname has walked the plank" Jones
Tim "Landlubber" Linn, Matt "Aquatic" Wolf, Andrew "Swimmy" Wentworth, Thomas "Lusitania" Fraser, Dave "Water Wings" Malone, Neil "Boat Race" McLain, Brandon "Cruise Ship" Miller.